Introduction
This book is a salve for the out-of-control mind. In a high-speed society that forces time to do double-time and stuffs minds with inestimably complex information, we need mental medicine. Popular mind-bending methods encourage us to come up with the highest thoughts, to be positive, to be powerful, and to live our passion. Yet That, which is the highest, is beyond what words can touch. I use thoughts in constructive ways; I think higher thoughts, but I always know that I’m playing little tricks with myself to calm myself (my mind) down – it’s okay, but the whole idea of choosing our thoughts and our lives is an intermediary step.
I anticipate a time when we no longer need mental medicine – a time when we surrender into the moment and observe the interconnection of all life – when we stop in our tracks and let something more powerful than words and intentions pull us toward it, when we “Go into the stillness so quietly that even a thought is too loud.” At some point the collective mind will become a servant of life. The evolutionary leap we are making is not about more people understanding the power of thought and how to co-create; it is about people letting go of personal agendas and identities. The leap is a merging of our minds into the unlimited One. It’s about letting go of personal power and merging with power itself. The world, as we know and mentally construct it to be, is going through the change.
Life is full of mystery, paradox, and coincidence – each idea seems to have an opposite. Rules are initially created to help or to create order. As adults we learn when it's better to bend the rules, suspend them, or throw them out all together. If I were taking someone to the hospital that was having a heart attack, I would run red lights and stop signs when I felt I could safely do so.
We each have internal rules we call beliefs. They, just like traffic rules, are useful sometimes but restrictive at others.
The stories and ideas in this book are not to be applied to every situation. Every story has its "yes, but" side; however, the stories do have points that are true some of the time. The mind tends to look for the opposite of what is being said; therefore it can discount what's before it. I suggest when you read the following book you turn down the volume on "Dr. Opposite" (looks for when the idea is wrong – it starts with “but don't you think") and allow your mind to think of when the ideas might be true.
When we go to the grocery store, we buy only a few items. Maybe we purchase as few as one percent of the store’s inventory, yet we don't avoid the grocery store. We don't tell our friends, "Stay away from that place. Ninety-nine percent of what they have is not for me." If you cook and don’t grow your own food, you will be going to the grocery store regardless of all the items they carry that you will never buy.
As with the grocery store, you may find only a few things you agree with. Don’t let the fact that you run into something that you don't agree with deter you from gleaning value.
Consider two suggestions:
- Look for when the idea or situation could apply rather than looking for the exceptions.
- Don't discount the whole book just because you don't agree with 100% of the contents. It's a grocery store, not a prison.
The title, “Standing in the Dark,” asks a lot from me. When the title bubbled up from that deep place, I resisted, yet like an eager puppy, she came nipping at my heels. “Okay, show me your stuff. Why should you be the title of my book?” This was the response.
Sometimes we are in the dark, we don’t know what to do or what to believe, yet life demands we go forward in our day-to-day lives regardless of our emotional ground or our ability to make sense of our lives.
At other times we know for sure what we are about and how to express it. We are certain and move forward with passion for life, yet we are not seen or acknowledged for our brilliance. Some people even see us as silly or frivolous, maybe wacky, yet we continue to stand our ground.
Okay, she was getting my attention. The title is growing on me. Her point was illustrated when my husband and I hosted a musical virtuoso. Certainly her audience recognizes her talent. Her music vibrates the earth. Yet this woman works tirelessly at procuring performing engagements. “People don’t return my e-mails or phone calls.” She and her talent are often “Standing in the Dark.”
Finally, the dark is the sweetest place to be. When we are fully present, and strip away personalities, we rest in this dark void. The title keeps talking reminding how when I go into deep bliss, when I experience the universal me, it’s like I’m surrounded in a black velvet reality – velvet because it seems so soft. The title finally convinced me that she deserves this book. Thus ends the story of how this book got its name.
This is not a positive thinking book. It looks at uncomfortable topics such as losing your best friend or being robbed at gunpoint. It points out that life can be bumpy, even when we live in the flow. You will leap from the practical to the possible, and hopefully land in the mystical. Don’t take anything in this book seriously; nothing is serious. Too often our life’s journey is fraught with a frantic urgency that makes us somber and sucks the life out of us. You don’t have to get anything when you read this book except maybe if you could give up the need to get anything, it would be nice. It would be nice if you realize that you are already enough and that life is flowing exactly as it should. You can see I’m hypocritical. I’m telling you not to get anything, and then suggesting what you might get. That’s the paradox. There are two sides to every coin. Don’t fall in love with one side of the coin; it severely limits you and places you in the awkward position of becoming an angry, self-righteous prick.
Easy Does It
I feel like each day is shorter than the day before. Even though I’ve cut down on my commitments, the day is gone before it receives my stamp of approval. I even seem to lose whole days, “Is it Thursday already?” Some scientists have an explanation for this phenomenon. I heard a lecture about time speeding up. My head bobbed up and down in agreement as the speaker hypothesized. What a relief. I don’t remember what he said except, “time is flying by.” Of course I already knew that before the lecture. This verifies how we listen to others to confirm what we already believe.
Maybe there is a wrinkle in time, but, in addition, we are inundated with more change and information than ever before. Future shock is no longer in the future. It’s now. The books of yesterday, foretelling the pressure of a high-tech world, were about now. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. People quest for easier, simpler, and more prosperous lives. The problem with having an easier life is that most people don’t want to give up the drama and juiciness of their present situation in exchange for peace and ease. Drama is a drug. Some stress is real, but much of our stress is self-induced.
Buddha said there would be pain in life, but that suffering is optional. He would be disappointed if he walked today. He taught spiritual disciples to live in a state of peace and non-attachment. Buddha knew the mind as a point of pain and sorrow, so he taught his followers to master the mind.
Jesus taught love and said that, if we would follow Him, the difficulties would melt away, for in Christ the yoke is easy, the burden light. Jesus would be surprised to see how the truth and simplicity of his message is rerouted into religions of suffering and sacrifice.
The Now-ists spread the good news that being fully aware and present in the now brings unfathomed freedom. Life is not the reality we think; life is more subtle and far greater than our minds can pigeonhole. Now offers direct access to peace. Yet living in the moment is such a foreign concept, we have classes to teach the mind how to still itself and be present. Most people cannot even conceptualize the idea that now is vaster than a point in time; now is timeless, infinite, and always present.
Spiritual adepts say, “Take no care for tomorrow; look to the lilies to see the indefatigable, supportive nature of the universe.” Even with the potent words of mystics fresh on our minds, we recite thoughts of lack and pain, repeatedly, until we brainwash ourselves into believing in an internal world of doubt, poverty, and mistrust.
Maybe these words seem harsh. The tough teachings of Buddhism are referred to as the black and blue teachings. Sometimes we have to be kicked in the rear in order to move forward. These words address the part of the mind that will not let go of Ego Driven Suffering (EDS).
All people have some emotional pain in their lives. Often the pain passes from family member to family member. We have losses and seemingly unsolvable problems. At any given time, everyone has circumstances that are less than desirable.
We may feel powerless to control these events, but how we deal with them will determine the quality of our lives. There are two kinds of people (this is a metaphor to illustrate a point – people, of course, could never be narrowed down to two groups). One kind complains about their feelings and circumstances. They act angry and self-righteous or gripe about their current problem. They reiterate the same problems. They focus on others as if they were the problem. They are like cult members who practice bitchcraft.
The other group discusses problems without whining. They don’t believe they are set up by the evil stepmother of life. They share their pain with honor and dignity. They do not blame others for their difficulties. These are the people who take responsibility. They are not Hardaholics (a Hardaholic makes life hard and suffers about it); they are EZosophists. For an easier life, we must be self-responsible and authentic, rather than blame people, groups, political parties, and the government for our problems.
Many people were dissatisfied with the political climate. When George Bush took office, none of the ego-driven complainers felt a difference in the quality of their day-to-day lives. The same goes for those who now complain about the Democrats. They will still be complaining when the Republicans win in the future. Those who complain will complain, regardless of the changes in circumstances. Complaining is a habit. Taking a stand against wrong-doing is different than opinionating. Campaigning is one thing, political reform is honorable, but complaining is simply complaining.
Once I told my friend, “I am afraid that because you don’t take good care of your body, you will be sick when you are old.” He looked at me with a grin and answered, “Well, I guess you’re happy.” I scrunched up my face and replied, “What do you mean?” He responded, “I know you are happy when you have something to worry about.” I laughed it was true. I was looking for problems. I dropped the subject, and we hugged. I haven’t seen this friend in 15 years. Even if he is sick when he’s 80, I won’t be around.
Most of us wait for life to treat us right, while complaining about existing circumstances. It’s a poor plan because even when events go our way, the time comes when they turn in the opposite direction, and again we claim our right to be indignant or victimized. Peace can only come when our lives reflect our inner self, not our preferences or shoulds. Unfortunately, there is no fairy godmother to thump us on the head to put us back on course. When we believe that who we are is wrong, then nothing on the outside will ever seem quite right. We must escape our limited self-critical assessment and realize our true nature in love. When we know who we really are, then our lives are righted. Life can only become easier from the inside out because the outside world is ever-changing and fickle.
The famous story of the rainmaker illustrates this point. There was a village that desperately needed rain. They sent word to the rainmaker. The rainmaker received the message and journeyed to the village. His residence, while doing his work, was a private tent. He gave instructions not to be disturbed. He entered the tent and began the mysterious rituals. His food was left outside his tent door. No one dared bother him. One day passed. There was no rain, but the townspeople heard all kinds of noises coming from the makeshift dwelling. There was wailing, groaning, laughter, and grunting. The second day the pattern repeated. On the third day, the clouds grew dark, and there was a downpour of sweet rain.
The townspeople rejoiced and ran to the rain-maker to thank him. They asked what he did to make the rain. The shaman smiled. He related that he had not yet begun the rain ceremony.
“What were you doing? We heard strange sounds coming from your tent all day and night,” replied the townspeople.
“I was cleaning up my personal life. I was forgiving and releasing and making my heart clean. When we do our inner work, the outer world falls into balance.” This is the great secret of having an easier life. Heal ourselves, and the world falls into a flow.
When we expect ease and let go of pain, we find ease. If we brag about our hardships and look for problems everywhere, they will be everywhere. We do not need to be proud to be in pain. “No pain, no gain" does not have to be the truth all the time. Recovery can be painful, but in the recovery is also the discovery of an easier way of life. Remember the slogan “Easy does it,” and the eight-word miracle mantra: “Everything can be easy or at least easier.” Lavish your mind with thoughts of ease, soften your attitude, and let go of your Ego Driven Suffering (EDS) and you will find that life will become EZier and EZier.
Standing In the Dark
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